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Couples message board

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If the answer is no, move on. Don't be discouraged. The internet is a big place, and there's likely to be a place where your vision for your relationship is supported.

Before you post, it can be helpful to decide on your privacy boundaries. Since you're posting about your relationship, you'll need to take your partner's wishes as well as your own into account.

Decide together what kind of details you're comfortable sharing online. This is a personal boundary for each relationship - some couples are comfortable discussing their sex life online, while others will draw the line at general descriptions of their disagreements.

Once you've decided on your privacy boundaries, write out your question or concern in a way that respects these boundaries.

It's helpful to be specific about the kind of help that you're looking for, but don't hold back from asking for fear of doing it "wrong.

You and your partner can write the message together, or one of you can write it, and the other can read it before it's posted. Then, post your message!

The National Alliance on Mental Health reports that, for effective peer support, participants need to be "open-minded and willing to change.

It's vital that you keep these things in mind as you monitor the feedback that you receive on your questions.

You might not receive the answers that you want, and you may be surprised by some of what people share with you. Do your best to accept this without becoming defensive.

At first, you may not feel like you've gotten any good advice. However, even if something that's being suggested doesn't sound like a good idea, you can at least discuss it with your partner and maybe give it a try.

You may be surprised at what works for you. You will almost certainly be surprised at how many people are willing and waiting to help you out. Being open-minded doesn't mean, of course, that you must accept or use all of the advice that you are given.

Sort through the stories and advice that you get for the pieces that seem to fit your values and goals the best. Once you get to know some of the other users on the board, you may get a sense of which people have the kind of relationships that you want to have.

Take the advice from those people more seriously. Above all, don't just go with the answers that you want to hear. After all, if you're asking other people for advice, it's because you haven't been able to solve the problem yourself.

Be open to new perspectives and surprising pieces of advice. Be willing to try more than one potential solution. Agree with your spouse on what it will look like for something to "work," and try things until you find that.

While it's possible to use a couples' message board for a quick question, online forums will provide the most effective support for you as a couple if you become part of the community.

Don't just ask and run - respond to the feedback that you receive, take part in friendly conversation, and report back with the results of the advice that you put into practice.

In addition to finding help with your marriage, you may find some new online friends! Once you've gotten the help, you need, it's time to return the favor.

After all, peer support is about giving and receiving. It can be intimidating to give advice or answer questions.

After all, people may not choose to follow your advice or may push back on your suggestions. But community participation can happen in lots of ways, and you should be able to find a way to give back that stay within your comfort level.

An easy way to begin to participate in a forum is to answer questions that people ask. They may be wanting to know if anyone else has experienced something that they're going through.

Maybe they would like to know what other people would do in their shoes. Or, they may need practical information about locating resources for their relationship.

If you have an answer to these, you can give it. Giving advice can be harder than answering questions.

It gets more difficult, the more serious the situation is. Think a little more carefully before you offer advice, but remember - if someone is asking for advice, that's what they have come here for.

When you give advice, try to make it specific and actionable. That means suggesting something that the person asking for advice could do.

Don't feel like you need to have a perfect relationship before you can give advice. Maybe you and your partner have had fights or disagreements about other things that you've been able to resolve, and those things can make it easier for both of you to help others.

Don't be afraid to jump in on other message board questions and help the people there to see what you know and how you can help.

If you aren't sure how to advise on a direct but gentle way, think of it as another way of answering the question, "what would you do?

Try to be realistic. What we think that we should do, and what we would do in any given situation are often different. Be empathetic in your advice.

Remember that a peer support community is about acceptance and support. If you don't want to answer questions and don't feel like you have the advice to give, you can still help out within the community.

A big part of what makes peer support effectively is an emphasis on shared experience and acceptance. Sometimes, all that people need is someone to let them know that they understand, and empathize.

People sometimes share very difficult, personal, or even traumatic relationship stories in couples message boards.

You can help these people simply by letting them know that they have been heard. Let them know that you're thinking of them and wishing them well.

Cheer them on as they work towards their relationship goals. Sympathize with them when things aren't going well.

A listening ear can be just as important as good advice. Working together as a couple is the best part of a message board.

When you can openly discuss the problems that you're having, and get the help you're looking for from others who have actually been there, it can definitely be a benefit.

After all, your therapist probably hasn't been there before, so finding out from someone who has might be an even better way for you to get a start on the problem before you start looking for other help.

As some of the benefits of premarital counseling suggest , getting help for problems early may be the best way to solve them without intensive therapeutic intervention.

Sometimes, you may need more help than peer support can provide. There are some situations where a licensed professional is the best option.

This show reminded me of how interesting the storylines around the couples used to be, with a nice balance of love and tension:.

And no one was a doormat for the other. And no Nelle! Johnny and Lulu along with Jax and Carly were the highlight.

Claudia was always an interesting enigma. She had made up her mind to let Jason claim his child and begin a life with her and the kids not sure if Aiden was born then.

The shooting of Michael made her rethink that decision and once again back away from having a permanent relationship with Jason.

This yoyoing back and forth always seemed rather cruel in my view. Now Liz is far more mature and resolute and she has her priorities straight and thank God for that.

I agree that Liz was ultimately cruel toward Jason with all the back-and-forth. She was passive aggressive when it came to Jason. I liked them as a couple though.

Micheal getting shot had a big impact on that decision. She should have been strong enough to make a decision and stick with it and not keep Jason dangling.

For me, too many girls put their boyfriends before their children, and many times the children suffer. I loved Jason and Liz together and I understand her being indecisive about having a relationship with him.

She loved and wanted to be with him but her kids safety was more important. She was torn a woman in love with a man who lived a dangerous life.

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